Ligier JS50 sets the slowest-ever Nürburgring lap record

Congratulations are due to Ligier, the legendary French motorsport team and occasional builder of race cars apparently styled after teapots. This week, it demolished a long-standing Nürburgring record.

Ligier JS50 claims the Nürburgring slow-lap record

French journalists Nicolas Meunier and Martin Coulomb guided the company’s diesel JS50 microcar around the Green Hell in 28 minutes and 28.5 seconds. Ligier proudly says this is the slowest official Nürburgring lap ever recorded, beating the Trabant P60’s six-decade-old benchmark by more than 12 minutes.

In France, the JS50 is classified as a ‘car without a licence’, meaning it can be driven there from the age of 14 without a driving licence. Its diesel version uses a 500cc engine producing a terrifying eight horsepower and has a maximum speed of only 45 km/h (28 mph).

Ligier says its Nürburgring achievement “hinted at its glorious history in Formula One”. The company was presumably being thoroughly tongue-in-cheek. The record-setting JS50 wore an impressive bodykit and decals, and everyone knows those are worth at least ten seconds per lap. Although, on reflection, that was precisely what Ligier was hoping to avoid.

A leisurely 28-minute lap of the Green Hell

Top Gear is entirely in favour of this type of record-breaking absurdity, as well as the spectacularly soundtracked video Ligier used to celebrate the accomplishment.

Still, one question cannot be ignored: did Ligier really make enough of an effort? A 28-minute lap is undeniably relaxed, particularly given that the Mercedes-AMG One can lap the Nürburgring in six and a half minutes.

Yet, if Top Gear’s calculations are correct, the JS50 still averaged roughly 44 km/h (27.5 mph) over the Green Hell’s 20.8 km (12.9-mile) layout. That suggests Messrs Meunier and/or Coulomb kept the accelerator virtually flat throughout the lap. Could they not have posted an even slower time by, well, travelling more slowly? Alternatively, they might have stopped near Pflanzgarten for a pleasantly unhurried picnic.

Could Ligier have been even slower?

The point is that, with a little greater dedication to extreme lethargy, Ligier had far more slowness available to claim. Perhaps its mistake was assigning the task to two keen motoring journalists instead of, for instance, someone from a remote rainforest tribe who had never encountered a car. Or maybe a particularly unhurried three-toed sloth.

Could Ligier have delivered an even more astonishing display of idleness by filling the JS50’s boot - assuming the JS50 even has one, something that would probably be easy to check but, frankly, life is short - with roofing lead? Might it have fitted a rudimentary sail to the roof to create more drag? Or, again, simply driven a bit more slowly?

Perhaps that would not have represented fair competition. But as Top Gear has always maintained, anyone hoping to establish a reputation in deliberately ponderous motorsport must be willing to stretch the rules slightly.

Indeed, Ligier may have been premature in declaring the slowest Nürburgring lap of all time. At the risk of becoming overly philosophical, surely the slowest Nürburgring lap is the one that has not finished yet?